Writing Workshop
Guided writing practice with model answer, structure and useful language.
Lesson objectives
- Plan and structure a stronger Cambridge C1 writing response.
- Use clearer argument, linking and register control.
- Recycle the unit language around ageing populations & retirement into sustained writing.
Listen to the model audio before you answer the lesson tasks.
Unit 38: Ageing Populations & Retirement
Task (Cambridge C1 Advanced, Part 2)
Question: Your lecturer has asked you to write an essay regarding the socio-economic implications of an ageing population. You have studied this topic in class and should use the ideas discussed.
Write an essay discussing the impact of an ageing population on the economy and the importance of increasing the retirement age.
You must write about: 1. The pressure on the healthcare system and public services. 2. The impact on the workforce and economic productivity.
Note: You should write about both of the points, but you only need to select one of the following: * The necessity of raising the retirement age. * The potential for technological solutions to mitigate labour shortages.
Write your essay in the range of 220-260 words.
Tips (en español)
- Structure: Para un essay, utiliza siempre una estructura de cuatro párrafos: Introducción, Cuerpo 1 (punto 1), Cuerpo 2 (punto 2 + tu elección) y Conclusión.
- Register: El tono debe ser estrictamente formal. Evita contracciones (don't, can't) y lenguaje coloquial. Usa estructuras pasivas y nominalizaciones para sonar más académico.
- Linking: No te limites a firstly o secondly. Usa conectores avanzados como furthermore, nevertheless, o consequently para guiar al lector a través de tu argumento.
- Hedging (Cautela): En el nivel C1, evita generalizaciones absolutas como "It is a fact that...". Usa hedging (It is often argued that..., This could lead to...) para mostrar que entiendes la complejidad del tema.
- Evaluación de ideas: No te limites a listar problemas. Debes analizar la relación entre ellos. Si hablas de la presión asistencial, conéctalo con la falta de trabajadores activos.
- Time management: No dediques más de 45 minutos a esta tarea. Dedica 5 minutos a planificar tus argumentos antes de empezar a escribir para evitar repeticiones.
Useful language
| # | Expression | Español | Audio |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | What immediately stands out is... | Lo que destaca enseguida es... | 🔊 |
| 2 | At first glance, the scene appears to... | A primera vista, la escena parece... | 🔊 |
| 3 | Whereas the first image suggests..., the second one points to... | Mientras que la primera imagen sugiere..., la segunda apunta a... | 🔊 |
| 4 | There is a striking contrast between... and... | Hay un contraste marcado entre... y... | 🔊 |
| 5 | The people seem to be dealing with... | Las personas parecen estar lidiando con... | 🔊 |
| 6 | It is highly likely that... | Es muy probable que... | 🔊 |
| 7 | One could infer that... | Se podría inferir que... | 🔊 |
| 8 | This might reflect a broader issue: ... | Esto podría reflejar un problema más amplio: ... | 🔊 |
| 9 | Although the setting is different, both images convey... | Aunque el contexto es distinto, ambas imágenes transmiten... | 🔊 |
| 10 | The overall impression is one of... | La impresión general es de... | 🔊 |
| 11 | This would be a useful example of... | Esto sería un ejemplo útil de... | 🔊 |
| 12 | I would argue that the second image feels more... | Diría que la segunda imagen resulta más... | 🔊 |
Model answer
🔊
It is widely acknowledged that many developed nations are currently facing the demographic challenge of an ageing population. This shift presents significant socio-economic hurdles that require careful strategic planning. This essay will examine the pressures on public services and the implications for the workforce.
One of the most pressing concerns is the increased demand on healthcare systems. As the proportion of elderly citizens grows, there is an inevitable rise in the prevalence of chronic conditions, placing an immense strain on public health resources. Furthermore, this demographic shift necessitates greater investment in social care, which may divert funds from other essential public sectors, such as education.
Regarding the economy, an ageing population often leads to a shrinking workforce, which can stifle productivity and reduce tax revenues. While some argue that this could be mitigated by automation, the immediate reality is a potential labour shortage. Consequently, it is often suggested that raising the retirement age is a necessary measure to maintain economic stability. By extending the period in which individuals contribute to the economy, governments can alleviate the fiscal pressure on pension schemes.
In conclusion, while an ageing population poses significant risks to healthcare and economic productivity, it also requires innovative policy responses. Although raising the retirement age remains a controversial topic, it appears to be a pragmatic necessity to ensure the long-term sustainability of the welfare state.
(248 words)
Marking checklist
- Content: ¿Has respondido a todos los puntos de la tarea? Debes cubrir los dos puntos obligatorios y elegir uno de las opciones para asegurar que la respuesta es completa.
- Communicative Achievement: ¿El tono es formal y académico? El lenguaje debe ser apropiado para un ensayo de nivel C1, evitando el lenguaje personal y directo.
- Organisation: ¿El texto fluye de manera lógica? Utiliza párrafos claros y conectores de transición para que el argumento sea coherente de principio a fin.
- Language: ¿Utilizas vocabulario avanzado y estructuras gramaticales complejas? Se evalúa el uso de collocations, inversions, passive voice y la precisión léxica.